Paint Me Any Face
by ohmycroft
Summary: After putting a happy end to a case in San Francisco, the team has dinner together in a fancy restaurant to celebrate, when a tall blonde woman suddenly throws a tennis ball at Hotch. Who is she, and why is she calling him Greg? - Will have a sequel (probably)


**A/N: Hello people of the Earth! (Unless you're not on Earth, in which case you're must cooler)**

**I've noticed that there aren't as many Dharma and Greg &amp; Criminal Minds crossovers (or at least not as many as I'd hoped), so I decided to write one myself! Hope I did a good job... But that's up to you to decide!**

* * *

"Still trying to be a vegetarian?" Morgan teased as Garcia ordered her meal from the waitress.

"I'm not _trying_, I _am _a vegetarian, and I'd love to see your support!" she growled back with a tiny smile, which only made Morgan laugh and the team smile.

"I'll have a cheeseburger, thank you," he told the waitress and winked Garcia, which gave a small _huff_ in return.

The waitress left as she finished taking everyone's orders, and as the BAU team members were left alone, Rossi cleared his throat loudly. "May I have your attention?" said he and raised his glass.

"Here's to happy endings. After so much hard work, we finally get to close a case with a smile," he made the toast, and the team raised their glasses.

"To happy endings!" JJ said with a large grin.

They all sipped from their wine, which meant they were quiet for about 2 seconds.

"So, Hotch, how's Beth?" Morgan asked, trying to take Garcia's mind off the vegetarianism topic.

Aaron cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, we broke up a while ago."

"Oh, um, sorry to hear that."

"Wait, who's Beth?" Callahan whispered JJ, who was sitting next to her.

"Hotch's girlfriend," she explained quietly. "Ex-girlfriend, apparently."

"She took a job position in Hong Kong, and we agreed that it would be difficult to keep the relationship from such a great distance," he explained, and then glanced at Rossi, asking him to change the subject wordlessly.

"So, Reid –" Rossi started, but was suddenly interrupted when a loud _thump_ was heard, and Aaron put his hand on his head in pain.

"What the hell?!" Morgan cried.

"Hotch, are you okay?" Garcia asked in concern.

"Yes, of course," Hotch replied quickly, still rubbing his throbbing head.

Rossi bent down to pick up whatever it was that hit Hotch, and brought up – to the team's surprise – a tennis ball.

"This is getting stranger and stranger by the minute," Rossi said and placed the ball on the table.

They all looked in the direction the ball was thrown from, but couldn't see anyone that appeared suspicious.

"Do you know anyone in San Francisco?" Callahan asked, trying to find some sense in this strange situation.

"Well…" he started and drank some of his water, when the sound of a chair being loudly dragged back attracted their attention.

"Greg?" a woman cried.

The team shared baffled looks, certain that the lady was mixing people up, until they realized Hotch suddenly choked on his water.

Aaron cleared his throat and got up from his chair. He turned around slowly, as if slowly preparing himself to what he's going to see.

The cry came from a tall blonde woman who appeared to be in her early forties, and she was undoubtedly staring at Hotch the same way he was staring at her – pure surprise.

"Dharma?" Aaron half-cried-half-realized.

"Aaron, who's Greg?" Rossi asked, speaking what was on the team's mind.

"I knew it was you!" the blonde woman rejoiced and hurried to their table. "I thought I hear your voice, but I had to make sure it was you before I came over," she explained as she approached them.

"So you threw a _tennis ball_ at him?!" Morgan shouted at her, his eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment.

"Well, what else what I supposed to throw at him?" she replied, as if it was a dumb question.

"Who are you?" JJ asked, trying to make everything clearer.

"I'm Dharma, Greg's ex-wife. Who are you?" she replied with a large grin, that faded as she saw the baffled looks that they were giving Hotch. "Am I missing something here?"

"Well, we're _Greg_'s co-workers, and we know him by the name _Aaron_," Rossi explained.

That was the moment Hotchner realized everyone was waiting for him to clear things up.

"Do you still live nearby?" he asked his ex-wife. "I think it's better if we'll have this conversation privately."

"Yeah, sure, same place and everything."

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all," she replied, knowing what he meant.

"Good. Let's go," he called the team, and they all left the restaurant.

* * *

When Dharma turned on the lights in her apartment, the team members couldn't hide their surprise. It was small and very colorful, with lots of pictures hanging on the walls and lots of items everywhere – and there was grass on the floor.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll prepare something to eat, I think we have some tofu pasta left," the host said as she went to the kitchen and immediately began to prepare food.

"There's grass in the apartment," Morgan stated the obvious.

"It's spring," Hotch explained instinctively, and sighed as the team gave him puzzled looks. "Sit down, I'll explain everything in a minute."

The team members obeyed, and Hotch went to the kitchen to help Dharma with the food and drinks.

"I can't believe you're still living here. It's like nothing has changed," he said, trying to start a conversation.

Dharma didn't reply, but kept herself busy piling plates and forks to give to everyone.

"I missed you," she said eventually. Her voice was quiet and soft, and when she looked up to meet his eyes, he could see they were damp with tears.

A small grin appeared on his face. "I missed you too," he admitted. "Let's get back to the team; I think I owe them an explanation."

The two went back to the living room and handed everyone a plate full of tofu pasta and a glass of water, Hotch avoiding their eyes deliberately.

"This is delicious," Garcia said after her first bite.

"Thanks! It's my mother's recipe, I can give it to you if you want," Dharma said with a smile.

"You're a vegetarian?" Morgan asked, distracted for a moment from the reason they were all there.

"No, but my mother is. I try to avoid meat when I can," she answered with a shrug, and Penelope gave Derek a meaningful look.

"Okay, so I assume you all have questions," Aaron said, attracting the attention to him. He was standing in front of them, his arms crossed over his chest, and a very serious expression on his face.

"Yes," Reid said. "Why is there grass on the floor?"

"Long explanation or short?" Dharma asked.

"Uh, short?"

"It's spring!" she said joyfully.

"Okay, long explanation."

Hotchner interrupted before Dharma could reply. "Every spring she puts a lawn in the apartment to celebrate the yearly renewal of mother Earth," he said with a sigh, as he knew how mad he must seem to them. In fact, he still hadn't wrapped his mind around it himself.

"You say it like you've known her for a long time," JJ pointed out.

Aaron sighed. "I was born by the name of Greg Clifford Montgomery," he started.

"Clifford," Dharma repeated quietly and giggled.

Aaron gave her a serious look, but couldn't help but smile. God, he missed her.

"Anyway, Dharma and I met and got married in 1997. We've been together for over five years, but one day we had a big fight, about…" his voice trailed off as he thought of that terrible night, about the fight that ended their relationship. "We split up in 2003, and I moved to Seattle. Three months later, I found out that my parents died in a car crash," he said, and as he anticipated, got compassionate looks from everyone in the room. "I decided that I wanted to start over, to get over everything that had happened. So I changed my name to Aaron Hotchner, and you know the rest."

The BAU team was silent for a moment. They all had to digest everything Hotch told them. Neither of them could picture him living with this wild-looking woman, and definitely being married to her.

"I don't," Dharma said in an almost offended tone.

"What?"

"I don't know the rest. I knew you went to Seattle, but I didn't know you changed your name. I don't know where you live, what you do…" she said, as tears flooded her eyes.

"He works for the FBI," Garcia explained softly, as she saw how uncomfortable Hotch was feeling at the moment. "He's in the Behavioral Analysis Unit, we all are. In fact, he's the unit chief," she pointed out, and Dharma smiled.

"You're still bossy, I see," she said, and seemed to have calmed down a bit.

"He has a son," Rossi said, and gave Hotch a look saying 'she needs to know'.

"You do?" she asked eagerly. To everyone's surprise, she didn't appear offended at all. In fact, it seemed that she was happy to hear he's moved on.

"His name is Jack," Aaron said, finally speaking for himself. He pulled out his wallet and showed her his picture of Jack and Hayley.

"He's beautiful!" she said in pure joy. "Who's the gorgeous lady next to him?"

"His mother. Her name was Hayley," the unit chief said, a bit lost in thought.

"Was?..." Dharma asked quietly, and looked at the team, hoping to get an answer from them.

"She was killed five years ago by a serial killer who targeted Aaron," Rossi said, handing out all of the information at once, and by so saving Dharma the questions.

Her mouth fell open in shock. "I'm so sorry," she said tenderly, and instinctively hugged Hotch.

He hugged her back, as if it was ten years ago, and they were still young, married and careless.

"So, _Clifford,_" Morgan started.

"Don't."

Dharma laughed and put her hand up to Morgan. He gave her a high five, and Hotch let a little smile come on his face.

Then, he noticed Reid was staring at the air, and his lips were moving quietly, as if he was speaking.

"What is it, genius?" Penelope asked, as apparently Hotch wasn't the only one to notice Reid's strange behavior.

"I've heard the name Greg Montgomery before, I just can't pinpoint when exactly it was."

"Reid can't remember something? _That's _a first," JJ snorted with a smile.

"Why is it so unlike him?" Dharma asked, still feeling a bit left-out.

"That kid is a genius. He had 3 PhDs and 2 Bas by the age of 24, he has an eidetic memory, and can read… What, ten thousand words in a minute?" Morgan explained.

"Twenty thousands," Spencer corrected him absentmindedly, "Garcia, do you have your laptop here?"

"You know, for a genius, you ask really dumb questions," she replied cheekily as always as she pulled out her laptop from her bag and placed it on the table.

"Can you find me an advertisement from 1999?" he asked, still staring at the air as he's trying to recall where he'd heard Hotch's old name.

As soon as he said the word 'advertisement', Dharma began to laugh and Aaron's eyes widened. "No, Garcia, don't search that," he said, and hurried to her computer.

"Too late, I already have it on," the computer genius replied and turned the computer over so the rest of the team could see what's on the screen. She pressed _play_, and the old advertisement start playing.

Hotch buried his face in his hands, cursing the day he'd decided to make an advertisement. Dharma's laugh grew louder, and at first no one joined her. But a few seconds after the advertisement was over, and the team managed to get over their shock, Rossi started to laugh. Soon enough, the whole team was laughing, including Hotch.

_This is definitely the strangest situation I've ever been in_, he thought, and a smile spread on his face. Perhaps it was time he acknowledged his past.

And perhaps it was time to start over with Dharma.

* * *

**A/N: Sooooooo that's it! At least for now, I think I'll probably write a sequel at some point about how Hotch and Dharma somehow manage to get along (or maybe not?) after all this time.**

**I really hoped you liked it! Please leave your opinion about it in the reviews, your reviews make me better!**


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